Fear. It seems like we often cave to it or deny it when we aren't conscious. We want to shrink from the discomfort of feeling fear. It's not a comfortable feeling. It's not supposed to be. If you choose to invite shift in your life, or are seeking to grow in any way, you know fear. And wherever we go, our fear goes with us. While it can make your life chaotic - it doesn't have to if we take time to hear what that fear is saying. Here’s the biggest myths of fear and how we allow it guide us instead of the other way around.
Myth: Fear means I should stop.
You would be surprised how much I hear this. We can easily confuse our intuition with our fear because let’s face it – they are both voices floating in our head. There is a difference between intuition and our fear though, in fact, it’s quite normal for the two to disagree. Our intuition wants us to move forward and fear doesn’t.
Intuition comes from our deep desires. If you feel an undertone (or a dominant tone) of excitement, that’s your intuition speaking. Fear tells us to stop. Intuition tells us to keep moving or find new way. Sometimes (often in my life) that new way is listening to the fear, deciding if it is true and whether I stop or am just feeling the excitement of doing something new or different. It’s how I stay curious and inspired.
Myth: Fear is an enemy.
If you are out to conquer your fears or banish them for good, I bid you good luck. It’s impossible to conquer fear. It is part of being human. Instead, make a friend out of your fear. Get to know it, have compassion for it and let it go if it’s not helpful. Just like having good friends in our life, we can ask or listen to counsel, but we don’t have to do what it says. By acknowledging it as a friend, we honor it for wanting to keep us safe. In the end, we still get to choose if it’s telling the truth.
Myth: It’s helpful to focus on the fear so I can move it.
We want fear to be a friend, but we don’t want that friend taking all the focus away from our journey. What we focus on becomes our target so we don’t want to target our fear as what we desire or all we’ll find is more fear. Instead focus on what you desire. When you start feeling fear, redirect your thoughts to what you actually want, not what you fear.
Myth: Fear is always reasonable.
Sometimes, it seems like fear is reasonable. There are definitely times when fear is completely logical and justified. Yet, in my life at least, there are many more times when my fear is admittedly ridiculous and completely illogical. I fear things I KNOW aren’t even true or possible in reality. Stop thinking all fear is justified and get to the bottom of your fear.
Myth: I can beat fear by preparing for every outcome.
I used to live like this. If I could just control all the possible outcomes to a situation or goal, I would surely succeed. So I would sit around thinking of all the ‘what if this happened’ scenarios and prepare in case of every possible detour or challenge. It made me crazy and most of the preparation was never needed. And guess what else? Something else I hadn’t thought of would happen and I would have to deal with anyway.
We don’t control the world around us. We really want to, but we don’t. Instead of thinking about all the ways something could go wrong, remember to focus on your attitude and how you will handle yourself instead of the circumstances. If we focus on our attitude, we’re preparing ourselves for anything by using the only variable we actually control rather than the millions of details that could go wrong.
Get to the truth of your fear. Love her like a friend, have compassion and in the end, allow your inner sovereign to lead the way – not your fear. Fear doesn’t have to prevent you from moving towards the life you truly want. Find the truth under the fear and then focus on what you want. Fear will always come along – but you have the power to decide whether or not you listen.