I know there are times that self-love feels like it's unreachable.
I've been there. I've just not felt lovable. And I probably had reasons and explanations why it wasn't possible in the moment. Choosing love for myself just seemed, wrong.
I bet you've felt it too. Maybe we feel like we made a mistake, we're sure we don't deserve, or we're not good enough of a friend, employee, or parent -- there are plenty of reasons it can be hard.
Whatever the resistance, it can feel like an impossible choice to make.
To make it easier, here's how we can ground into more self-love.
#1 Take a breath and get back into your body.
Move your body, tune back into the feelings in your body, or stimulate your senses with music, good smells, soft fabrics. Uses your senses can bring you back into your body and out of your thoughts.
#2 Should we HALTS?
Whenever we are hungry, angry, lonely, tired or sick, we need to stop thinking. Our best thinking doesn't happen then because our body gets our brains into a panic. Solve these first and then come back to thinking and decision-making.
#3 What would someone who loves you say about you?
Tune in. Think of someone who loves you -- even if it's a pet. What would they say they love about you? What would they celebrate about you?
#4 How can you choose compassion for your humanness right now?
Where is the opening for kindness? Even if it starts with 'I'm okay", keep going on it and see if you can expand that into kindness and supportive messages for what you are going through now.
#5 How can you be more curious right now?
Curiosity overcomes judgment. It helps us open when we want to close down. Do you need to be more curious over why you have a resistance to being kind or maybe more curious about how you can be more kind to yourself? Give yourself options so the choice is easy.
What do you do when you need more self-love?
I'd love to hear about it. Email me here.