Ask Your Wounded Child What She Needs


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Our Inner Child often shows up when she’s wounded.

Let me explain.

When we feel powerless, she shows up - probably by default.

We know the Wounded Child energy:

  • We sob.
  • We feel out of control.
  • We have a hard time thinking clearly.
  • And the Suffering Spiral of I’m-not enough thoughts.

Of course we make it through, just like Maya Angelou says, “Every storm runs out of rain.”

There are ways we can make that shift faster and more smoothly - so we don’t get stuck in the Suffering Spiral.

In my coaching program, Confident, Connected & Impactful, we have a little teaching a visualization and an alignment (ritual or exercise) for almost every lesson, so that’s what I offer here.

The way we usually treat our wounds is to:

  • Ignore them and carry on
  • Brood in them and let them direct how we live
  • Settle for them and expect others will treat them gingerly
However, none of those options really give us a solution - it’s just a way we manage the bandages and discomfort.

What our Wounded Child needs is love.

She needs care, concern, love, and nurturing. We tend to the Wounded Child with our compassionate heart - maybe our Mothering heart.

I mean, if this Wounded Child was one of your children, or a niece or nephew who was wounded, you probably wouldn’t consider shaming them and telling them to get over it in the same voice you tell yourself. Be honest.

We would step into some compassion for a child.

That child is inside of you. Being kind is the only way to heal her.

You are the avenue of healing now. Give it to yourself.

Try the visualization which will give you some insight into what your Inner Child needs right now - whether she shows up wounded or not.

Then try the alignment to write yourself a compassionate love letter.



Journaling Questions:

Some questions to journal (in case you forgot what you heard):

  • Did your garden change in any way when you visited?
  • How did your child show up?
  • How old was she? Is that significant?
  • How did she greet you and connect with you?
  • What makes her happy? Sad or fearful? Angry?
  • What does she need most from you?
  • What does her favorite place look like?
  • What is in her space?
  • How does she connect to this space?
  • What do you notice about your mother archetype?
  • How did you connect to that part of yourself?
  • How does your child and mother connect?
  • What does your mother archetype need most?
  • What wisdom did she have for you?
  • What blessing did you offer to her?


Write your Wounded Self a love letter.

What can you do to show yourself some self-compassion, love and appreciation?
What doesn’t the Wounded Child need to carry that she’s weighed down by? How can you alleviate that pain and discomfort for her?
Tell her how you want her to live: playful, curious, learning are some of her natural talents.
What do you need to do in order to commit to taking care of her?


  • Compassion
  • Kindness
  • What you truly want for them

Ask what they need & address that too.

Make a commitment, follow through.

Rinse. Breathe. Repeat.

Our Wounded Child points to our wounds. If she’s coming up a lot it’s because your wounds are.

Nurture her. Love her. Take care of her.


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