Holding Space for Yourself and Your Feelings On a Bad

Even the most positive, happy-go-lucky people have bad mood days.

Today, as I write this, I’m experiencing a wave of failure, disappointment and sadness. This flood of emotion that has become familiar and less harsh with time and curiosity. I used to fear this wave. I believed it would sweep me up and take me away, never to be happy again. I would panic and try to fix it or fake it. Yet, I’ve always recovered. It may have taken longer to bounce back sometimes, but each time eventually joy returned.

The truth is – it’s normal to get into a bad mood sometimes. EVERYONE has these days. It’s how we deal with them that makes the difference in our lives.

When I panicked when I was sad or angry, it made it worse. I would over-react. I would offer a $10,000 answer to a $10 question. Or ultimately, I would give in to my inner critic and quit the goal or dream completely, even if it broke my heart.

I caved to fear – and not just once – many times. Maybe you know this feeling too?

The dark days are ok if we allow them to be. They don’t have to set-back our good ones.

We can say,

“I feel you there. I realize this is going to be one of those days when I need to be aware of my actions and words and especially patience. I can hold space for this funk.”

On these days, I cut the goals in half for the day and take time being very present at each moment. I give myself space and time to honor them.

That sadness, anger, shame, fear is normal for a human being. These emotions are just as valid as joy. When we make those feelings the enemy and treat them like they don’t belong, they often grow. What you resist will persist - over and over and over...

We can hold space for the discomfort, the uncertain, the aching - while honoring it. Holding space means you are aware of your discomfort and open to hear any truth it may have for you. Often the feeling is offering guidance into something that needs to be looked at. Sometimes it’s just fear that needs to be expressed before you do the big scary goal. You get to decide if the feeling is just letting you know it’s there or if you need to redirect your sails.

Today, for me, it was expectations and procrastination (a really volatile cocktail for me). So now I hold space for sadness, shame, fear and anger. I welcome them back and honor them for motivating me to make deeper change, go with the flow more, and be more present. Their presence is no longer frightening, but more of a calling to my soul to be more authentic and real – to recalibrate my spirit and intuition.

We canonly do this from the observer perspective. So step back in the picture of your life. Notice that there is still magic around you, dreams you want to achieve, love to share - even if you don't feel like seeing it or find it hard to feel it. Notice this moment is a snapshot - not the whole album. You've gotten through the rough feelings before, you'll do it again.

In the meantime, listen in. What are they speaking to you? What wisdom is being shared?

 

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