If you are one of those people who thinks being nice to themselves will end in a lack of motivation or over-indulgence, this is especially for you.
When I say the words self-compassion in a room full of people, I can literally see the inner conflict happening among some. While we know being kind and loving is how we want to treat others, considering being that way to ourselves can bring up a lot of excuses and reasons why that's not possible or maybe even appropriate.
When I ask my clients why they struggle to offer themselves kindness and compassion, I get answers like:
- Because I'm not where I should be
- Because I've really screwed up and I can't do that again
- Because it feels wrong to focus on me
- I don't know why but it feels wrong
We've been taught not to love our individual selves. That our worth is simply what we produce or how we serve and if we judge it isn't enough, we don't want to be kind to ourselves. It can feel like rewarding ourselves when we've completely missed the mark.
But… that's not what self-compassion is. It's not a reward. It's a standard we all can embrace.
Being kind to you isn't going to make you soft.
In fact, listen to Dr. Susan David talk about what compassion actually offers here:
So here are 4 ways you can be kind to you today:
1. Go to a mirror and say something truly kind to you about you.
Give yourself a pep talk, tell yourself how awesome your hair looks, and give yourself a high-five. You don't need a special reason, there are so many everyday things you can pep yourself up with.
2. Write a Love Letter to yourself.
It can be just a love note too. Tell yourself, just as you would a lover or friend how awesome they are and why you love them.
3. Give yourself space and time.
We can get so busy we forget to make time to be really good to ourselves. Schedule in the elf-compassion time to allow yourself to feel what's going on and then comfort yourself with kindness.
4. Build an altar for you.
I have an altar with a fishbowl in it. All year round I deposit my self-love and self-compassion messages. Then I can pick one out any day I need a little extra love.
Being kind to you will allow you to explore all of our human experiences and share even more compassion with others.
We weren't made to be perfect. We were made to accept and love our imperfections.
Be gentle with your humanness.
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