What's the hardest love for most of us (even harder than finding our one true love)?
I hear you groaning and you are proving my point.
We're over the messages to love ourselves in fluffy, positivity, or fake it til you make it idealogy. It's easy to say, but what is the trick. Just love yourself... but how?
Possibly controversial, so hang on:
Self-love isn't unicorns and rainbows all the time.
Self-love is hard choices, inner conflict, doing the thing even when you don't feel like it, and not doing it when you trust your knowing rather than logic. It doesn't always feel like comfort in the moment. It might be taking a risk, purposely putting yourself in discomfort to grow, or even death to certain parts of yourself you think you need but are actually holding you back.
Self-love is caring for the whole of yourself. It includes all parts of you - your body, your mind, your heart, and your intuitive gut instincts.
Self-love isn't indulgent. It's expected of us in order to be able to best serve the world.
So how? By going deep into the gifts, beauty, and humanity that we are. The more you are willing to look, the more you can see.
A daily ritual for you:
(I highly suggest sitting in front of a mirror while you do this. However, if you feel unable to do that at this time, work up to it.)
1. Call in spirit if that fits for you.
2. Send gratitude to spirit and yourself. Express why you are grateful today.
3. Celebrate anything that you want about yourself today. Take it in. I mean really breathe it in.
(Maybe you did something cool in the last 24 hours, or showed resilience or patience or persistence. Maybe you discovered something new about yourself, or took a risk. Whatever it is, celebrate at least one thing.)
4. See if anything uncomfortable comes up and disarm it. If you start hearing a voice in your head saying that you aren't worthy of celebration. Listen just once to the reasons. Don't let it go on and on, just get the gist. Then transform it into truth.
(Example: The story I tell myself is that I am not worthy because I forgot to send that email or that I lost my temper and raised my voice. Instead, I can tell myself the truth. I forget things because I am not perfect. I lose my temper when I am not caring for myself enough and let emotions pile up. That's what humans do. I will take better care of myself. ie. SELF-COMPASSION)
4. Set an intention on self-love or noticing your gifts for today.
5. Name a gift that can help you either: do better next time OR accept that you have human imperfections. Reinforce that you have gifts and that you are not aiming for perfection in the world. It's much more important to have compassion.
6. Thank yourself for this gift of presence. Thank spirit for joining you.
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