Sit with the Feelings, Not the Stories

It's October!

It's cooler air (even in Arizona thankfully).

It's Halloween.

It's colorful leaves (Not in S. AZ, but I remember them.)

It's also the downhill race to the end of the year. All the holidays and wrapping up the year make this time really exciting, and sometimes really stressful. Not to mention adding all the chaos of 2020 around elections, protests, and COVID, which just adds to the pot.

It's a beautiful time.

It's a hard time.

As Glennon Doyle would say, "We can do hard things."

How do we do hard things?

We keep our vessel clear. 

It's okay to cry, to have bad days, to feel angry, sad, fearful - even if you don't know exactly why. There's a lot going on and your brain is trying to process it all - it takes time. It takes feeling it. The feelings won't kill you, they are just uncomfortable.

I have one note of coaching for you today:

Sit with the feelings, not the stories.

When I or anyone says, be in the feelings, it means just that. Be there with that feeling. Feel how it is in your body. Accept that right now this is the feeling.
Sitting with stories is just crap we tell ourselves to make the feelings make sense. It can be a guessing game - especially when there is so much in the world that is impacting us to choose from.

Here's one way to approach it:

1. Notice the feelings.

You might notice them in how you behave or you might just feel uncomfortable.

2. Allow yourself to let go of the reasoning.

Notice the feelings without having to justify, reason, or explain them. Just notice how it feels in your body.

3. See if you can accept those feelings, just for this moment.

Can you just accept that right now you are experiencing uncomfortable feelings without trying to fix or change them? This takes patience and giving ourselves extra time to do things that might normally not take so long. It means being patient with your humanness. Humans have feelings. They are something we need to offer time to just like nourishing our bodies with food.

4. If you can't shut out the story, find the truth.

After you accept the feelings, you might find the stories seem, well, a little ridiculous. You might find a lot of those stories still want to come up around whatever the situation is. Listen to the stories - ONCE. Then, with your discerning inner judge, decide which are actually true and which are a bit blown out of proportion or exaggerated. Only take with you the truth.

5. Tell yourself the truest and most beautiful version of what is.

We tell ourselves bad stories all the time. This is a perfect opportunity to turn those around and tell yourself more about the beauty of what is. Just like October's chaos - there is beauty.

It's both/and. It's beautiful and it's hard. Just like being human.

We can do hard things.

What's the hard thing you need to do this week? How can I support you?

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