We all have them for very good reason. Judgment is meant to keep us safe.
The problem is that we allow judgments to keep us from discomfort too.
While that might seem ideal, discomfort is made to help us grow.
"Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life."
-Dr. Susan David
Discomfort and growth are not the opposite of joy, inner peace, and freedom, they are important factors to get there.
Most of our discomfort comes from our thoughts. Many of our thoughts are organized by whether they are 'ideal states' or 'undesirable states'. Because of this, if it's not what we want we can panic into believing there is a real threat even if it's just discomfort asking us to grow or see a new perspective.
Judgment closes us off.
Curiosity opens our perspective.
So when you are feeling especially judge-y -- about situations, people, or yourself, I invite you to be more curious.
Curiosity wants to know:
- What else could be true?
- Could even the opposite be true?
- What if this is a blessing?
- What can I love about this?
- How is the universe working for me?
Here's how curiosity can shift things in your life:
Curiosity can have us see more possibilities.
When we are open to seeing possibility outside what our mind tries to limit with judgment, we actually see more possibility. We can see things new from new perspectives. We start wondering how it can work out rather than poo-pooing every idea.
Curiosity gets us focused on our best interest and how we want to show up.
We can get so wrapped up in what we SHOULD do rather than what we actually want to do. When we get curious, we're looking for what we haven't seen before -- which is usually what we want. We don't get stuck in the 'not this' which keeps us focused on what we don't want.
Curiosity can help us be more gentle with ourselves and others.
Judgment means we feel one way about things. Curiosity opens us up to feeling more than what we have experienced before. We can choose to be open to a more compassionate way of handing ourselves. We can be curious about what happens when we give ourselves kindness over shaming.
Curiosity can help us accept what is.
When we know that things can have many different perspectives, we can start to find the possibility -- even in dark circumstances. This isn't about silver linings, this is about seeing the whole spectrum. One of my favorite quotes:
"Radical transformation starts with the radical acceptance of what is."
When we accept it, we can transform it. Curiosity makes it easier to see the bigger picture.
How can you be more curious today?
If it's going great, be curious.
If it's going not-so-great, be curious.