Listen: Or read: There are 2 bits of information you need in order to ensure your relationship stays clear and as conflict-free as possible. Basically, what we want and what we don’t want. That sounds simple, but every relationship is different and often we sacrifice what we need or we put up with what we Read More
Wisdom
Letting go of stories with ritual
Listen: Or read: If it’s not data, it’s a story and the stories are what keeps us stuck Whether you are in conflict with yourself or others, the stories are what keeps us stuck. We know stuck. It can look like a lot of things. Some examples you might have experienced yourself are: Getting stuck Read More
The 1 shift that makes relationship conflict easier…
Listen: Or read: When we are in conflict with another person, it can feel like we are opponents. When that happens, our ego is looking at how that person is wrong and we separate ourselves from who they are. I would never say that. Why do they not understand my side? They are so ridiculous Read More
Whose Problem is It Anyway?
Listen: Or read: We’ve all experienced different things and therefor do things differently than others. It can be hard to know in an argument or disagreement, who has the power to change this problem. I will start with an example. Several years after we were married, my husband shared with me a struggle I didn’t Read More
The Most Intimate Thing We Can Do: Asking for What We Want
Listen: Or read: Asking for what we want is possibly the most intimate and romantic thing we can do. Yet, we don’t want to do that, do we? We would actually prefer that the other person just knows what we need and want. But that means that then I am responsible for knowing what the Read More
Minding Our Co-Dependent Behaviors
Listen: Or read: Co-dependent behaviors are part of relationships. We all have them unless we are a true socio-path because we care for other people and it feels good to do good things for people we care for. So as I speak about them, what I want us to consider is the negative impacts on Read More
Stepping Out of Relationship Patterns
Listen: Read: Let’s talk about relationship patterns and when I talk about relationship patterns I have to talk about Shelly (name changed to protect the awesome). Shelly came to me because she wanted more than anything to change her relationship with her mom. She dreamed of being able to have a conversation without getting into Read More
Trusting others: Why we don’t & How We can
Listen: Or read: “I just can’t trust people.” “People always let me down.” Trust: to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something Trust is perhaps the hardest thing in relationships. Ever notice “I love you” is so much easier than “I trust you”? Love is one thing, right? But trust… trust is a Read More
Holding Space: How to Be with People in Difficult Times
Listen: Or read: Most of us grow up without really learning how to be with uncomfortable feelings – whether that is our own or sitting with someone who is experiencing tough emotions. So it’s understandable that when someone is struggling, we often don’t know how to just be with them. In fact, you might be Read More
5 Ways to Love Yourself When It’s Hard
I know there are times that self-love feels like it’s unreachable. I’ve been there. I’ve just not felt lovable. And I probably had reasons and explanations why it wasn’t possible in the moment. Choosing love for myself just seemed, wrong. I bet you’ve felt it too. Maybe we feel like we made a mistake, we’re Read More